I probably know more about love that I’d ever care to admit, or even accept; but one thing is for certain, I believe in love. I believe in its embodiment, and all the variations, we – sentient beings – have chosen to represent it with.
I am a product of love. I was born and raised in love, and with love.
To me, love goes beyond me feeling the jingles whenever I embrace my sons; the tears of gratitude I cry inside whenever I hear the voice of my mother; the expansive euphoria I feel whenever I sit with my sisters and reminisce; the excitement I experience – both physically and mentally – whenever I see my lover…
To me, love is all these things and more...
It was love that prevented me from taking the life of someone I considered to be my enemy, even when I had the opportunity; it was love that pulled the will out of me, and guided me to the path I am on now, when all else seemed to have failed; it was love that gave me the courage after my father died, to see beyond the situation I faced, when I was locked up in a police cell for being his son; and its the same love that guided my fingers as I typed this note that you’re now reading…
Love guides all the decisions I make; whether I choose to acknowledge it or not; the abundance of love, or even the lark of it, guides the way I think, feel, act, and react.
Love has always been my guide, and will always be, regardless of my disposition.
I also believe that I must have been aware of love, be it on some unconscious level, well before I was able to make any valid comprehension.
It must have been love that gave me the sense of recognition I had as a newborn, to differentiate between the embrace of my mother, and the others. It must have been love that guided me to locate my nourishment, even before I could see.
The love that connected me and her on a level that surpasses all candid definitions; it gave me the wisdom then, to make those distinctions. This I choose to believe…
But what is this thing called love?
Parents have named their children after it; Song writers have attempted, and continue to attempt to describe it; most religions claim to have defined it; in relationships, we all acknowledge that we feel it; but for some unknown reason, no one can actually become it…
To me, love is the lifeline that powers the world I live in. Love is a name for my creator, and the energy used to sustain all that is created. To me, love is more than what I feel, sense, or do… it’s also about who I should strive to become.
‘Love… ‘It is a human emotion;’
‘No, it is word. What matters is the connection the word implies…’
[Conversation between Neo and Rama Khandra –The Matrix Revolutions]
I define love as a feeling guided by two factors: Acceptance and Appreciation.
I see appreciation as an art because it involves perception. To appreciate anything, I have to feel something about it; its presence must speak to me, give me pleasure, invoke intrigue, denote some satisfaction…
I see acceptance as a science because it involves processing; I have to make an analysis, prejudgements, ask myself questions, and sometimes carry out tests, so I can become somewhat certain before I conclude.
Yesterday, I went to a friend’s art gallery, and for a moment, I found myself lost in one of his paintings. I stood there staring at this piece; my imagination overcharged; feeling as if I was inside the forest he had painted, and could anticipate his reasons for each brush stroke.
I loved the painting; but I couldn’t afford it. The process I went through; digging into my pockets, considering how much I had saved, how much I could even borrow, and if it was worth all that trouble; then finally accepting my fate, regardless of how much I had appreciated the painting, made me think more, about love… hence, this note.
I am not suggesting that love become methodical, or that I, or anyone, go through steps that involve art and science, before becoming aware; quite the contrary.
I am merely offering my definition, or should I say, my attempt at defining this feeling, this word, this energy, that serves us all.
Ea2 (23/09/09)
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